< mari
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
chi >
[ Page 38 of 76 ]
From: David Cantrell
Date: 14:05 on 30 Nov 2005
Subject: calc: C-style arbitrary precision calculator
; iroot(90872395726983750274650285408174305827346085726340587260384650287435,3)
44958380568752795591117
; 44958380568752795591117^3
90872395726983750274646170108413760218858681308600137573915168198613
Grrr.
From: A. Pagaltzis Date: 17:44 on 18 Nov 2005 Subject: Mailing list digests Fellow software haters, may I just register my seething contempt for any mail client which will let a user [Reply] to a mailing list digest? Additionally -- though slightly off-topic --, I need to express the same contempt for the idiots who do so. (One particularly bad apple keeps replying to the digest, *top posting*, *without* culling *anything*. I'm already subscribed to the non-digest version of the list -- thanks very much for also supplying me with the digest, and shoveling extra copies of everything into the archive, dimwit.) And a pox on the mailing list software which generates such a bloody useless format as a flattened digest in a single mail, which makes it impossible for dimwitted users to reply to anything in a sensible fashion. Of course that alone won't do -- the extra brain damage of accepting posts from users who are subscribed to the digest only is inevitable. Digests suck, mailing list software sucks, mail clients suck, users suck. May bit rot, pest and cholera befall all of them. With cordial malice,
From: Nicholas Clark Date: 12:23 on 18 Nov 2005 Subject: emacs In a text editor, which action I do more often? A: Set the font for the text? B: Go to a specific line? Place bets now! Correct answer was B. If you bet A, you were wrong. So why the fuck is the default action for Meta-G in emacs "set face"? RMS need to be hit around the head with a Larry Wall(*) until he grasps the principles of Huffman coding. Common actions should be shorter. Nicholas Clark *: Not the real Larry Wall. A 98% replica. Or how however the spam puts it. Heck, even a cardboard cutout would do for this job.
From: Luke Kanies Date: 20:08 on 16 Nov 2005 Subject: Non-interactive vs. interactive I don't know whether to blame Ruby, Unix, or everyone who could have fixed this but didn't, but... There seems to be this stupid assumption in Unix that all external commands are used in an interactive way. "No," you say, "that's what system() and `` are for." No, if that's what those commands were for, then those commands would make it easy to capture stderr. You see, when I have to non-interactively use external commands, I literally never want stderr to go to the console, and I pretty much always want to capture it so I can log it, and the whole Unix system seems predicated on me not being able to do so. Yes yes, I know, I can tack '2>&1' onto my command, and that will send stdout and stderr to the same place. Sure, except now I can't log the error messages at a different level, and nearly everything behaves quite differently when any shell metacharacters are present. In this case, I'm encountering either a stupid Ruby bug or a stupid Ruby design decision -- Ruby uses EUID to evaluate commands directly but UID to evaluate them in a subshell -- but it's Unix's fault for stupidly assuming that there will always be a human at the helm watching the console. It might not have been a stupid assumption in 1982 or whatever, but it sure is now. So, just wanting stderr causes literally every single program to behave differently, using subshells instead of executing directly. "Oh," you say, "but you can just redirect them manually." Yeah, I sure can manually create new files for stderr, and then read those back in after every command, because everyone knows that temporary files are hallmarks of both high performance and good programming. If I do that, my code to handle capturing stderr will be longer than my code to do what I'm actually doing, which is just stupid. And I can't really afford to use temporary files in this case (not for performance reasons but because I don't want to have to deal with deciding where to put them and how to clean them up). The real answer is, there are plenty of ways around this insane design decision, and Ruby seems to have a nasty bug here, but it is still a stupid design decision and it needs to be rethought. Oh, what's that, you're complaining because you'll have to change system calls that haven't changed since K&R? Suck it. There is never a good time for crappy designs outliving their welcome. Oh, and yeah, I know Ruby has a 'popen3', but for some retarded reason that command throws away the exit code which (guess what?) I also need. Stupid stupid stupid.
From: Steve Peters Date: 19:36 on 11 Nov 2005 Subject: Oracle XE - Extreme Excruciation ------=_Part_38601_13033592.1131737785910 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Disposition: inline I've long sworn that installing Oracle on Linux has to be one of the most painful things in the world, next to listening to Richard Shattner and Leonard Nemoy albums, of course. With Oracle's new Oracle XE all that was supposed to change. Who knows? Making Oracle easier to install on Linux might bring about world piece? Or at least that was the initial word on the street that seemed to be going around. Instead, I found that, much like poo= r Private "Pyle" on "Full Metal Jacket", I was just living in a world of shit= . I have installed Oracle several times on Windows and it has worked like a charm. The operating system, of course, was hateful, and despite my best efforts, I've not been able to get a reasonable level of performance on Windows. Oracle on Linux has always taunted me, so I decided to try out this Oracle XE install for myself. As I leasurely read through Oracle's website on Oracle XE, one word stood out -- Debian. "Hmmm," I thought, "I should be able to get this to install on my Ubuntu box." I quickly (as quickly as 150MB can be) downloaded the file for Linux. The fuckers only distribute an RPM file. HATE! With the help of "alien" (nice software, but hateful usage information), I unpacked the RPM and converted into a DEB file and installed. I could hear "Kumbaya" playing quietly in the background. Next step was to run Oracle's configuration program and everything would be just fine. Instead, I ran into hatred in the form of lazy programmers. The configuration was supposed to handled by an /etc/init.d file. As I ran the script, my illusions started to fall apart. First, the script was failing because it was looking for a "functions" file in /etc/init.d. That file is specific to the RedHat-derived Linuxes, but not all, since it tends to bloa= t your init scripts with lots of useless garbarge. Loud swearing ensued. The words "dickheads", "cocksuckers", and "motherfuckers" were each muttered more than once. This is also where I ranted on how Linux vendors should write init scripts that "just fucking do it" to my wife. "What do you think of the new shower curtain?" my wife asked. So, I hack away bits of the configuration/init script for Oracle XE, and, after a bit more swearing, I finally get the Oracle listener started. One problem, the database didn't start. More digging, more swearing. The configuration script hadn't bothered to create a new database instance. That's pretty fucking hateful for a configuration program that said "Oracle XE configured successfully." More hacking of the configuration script and more swearing. This time I jus= t used "cocksuckers", as I realized how lazy the programmers really were. It'= s easy to install without errors when you dump all output to /dev/null and ignore all return codes. I rant on again about lazy programmers. "You're right, honey, those candles do look nice next to the new mirror, an= d it really helps to make everything look centered," my wife mentions. Finally, after struggling with the sys and system users not having the SYSDBA role on the new database, discovering that the configure script creates a user called "anonymous" on the database, and finally getting erro= r messages saying that I should look in the alert log and find nothing writte= n in it, I finally gave up. Too bad that this "beta" software sure looks like a hate-filled development version to me. Yours in hate, Steve Peters ------=_Part_38601_13033592.1131737785910 Content-Type: text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Disposition: inline <p>I've long sworn that installing Oracle on Linux has to be one of the mos= t painful things in the world, next to listening to Richard Shattner and Le= onard Nemoy albums, of course. With Oracle's new Oracle XE all that w= as supposed to change. Who knows? Making Oracle easier to insta= ll on Linux might bring about world piece? Or at least that was the i= nitial word on the street that seemed to be going around. Instead, I = found that, much like poor Private "Pyle" on "Full Metal Jac= ket", I was just living in a world of shit. </p> <p>I have installed Oracle several times on Windows and it has worked like = a charm. The operating system, of<br>course, was hateful, and despite= my best efforts, I've not been able to get a reasonable level of performan= ce on Windows. Oracle on Linux has always taunted me, so I decided to= try out this Oracle XE install for myself. </p> <p>As I leasurely read through Oracle's website on Oracle XE, one word stoo= d out -- Debian. "Hmmm," I thought, "I should be able = to get this to install on my Ubuntu box." I quickly (as quickly = as 150MB can be) downloaded the file for Linux. </p> <p>The fuckers only distribute an RPM file. HATE!</p> <p>With the help of "alien" (nice software, but hateful usage inf= ormation), I unpacked the RPM and converted into a DEB file and installed.&= nbsp; I could hear "Kumbaya" playing quietly in the background.&n= bsp; Next step was to run Oracle's configuration program and everything wou= ld be just fine. </p> <p>Instead, I ran into hatred in the form of lazy programmers. The co= nfiguration was supposed to handled by an /etc/init.d file. As I ran = the script, my illusions started to fall apart. First, the script was= failing because it was looking for a "functions" file in /etc/in= it.d. That file is specific to the RedHat-derived Linuxes, but not al= l, since it tends to bloat your init scripts with lots of useless garbarge.= Loud swearing ensued. The words "dickheads", "c= ocksuckers", and "motherfuckers" were each muttered more tha= n once. This is also where I ranted on how Linux vendors should write= init scripts that "just fucking do it" to my wife. </p> <p>"What do you think of the new shower curtain?" my wife asked.<= /p> <p>So, I hack away bits of the configuration/init script for Oracle XE, and= , after a bit more swearing, I finally get the Oracle listener started.&nbs= p; One problem, the database didn't start. More digging, more swearin= g. The configuration script hadn't bothered to create a new database = instance. That's pretty fucking hateful for a configuration program t= hat said "Oracle XE configured successfully." </p> <p>More hacking of the configuration script and more swearing. This t= ime I just used "cocksuckers", as I realized how lazy the program= mers really were. It's easy to install without errors when you dump a= ll output to /dev/null and ignore all return codes. </p> <p>I rant on again about lazy programmers.</p> <p>"You're right, honey, those candles do look nice next to the new mi= rror, and it really helps to make everything look centered," my wife m= entions.</p> <div>Finally, after struggling with the sys and system users not having the= SYSDBA role on the new database, discovering that the configure script cre= ates a user called "anonymous" on the database, and finally getti= ng error messages saying that I should look in the alert log and find nothi= ng written in it, I finally gave up. Too bad that this "beta&quo= t; software sure looks like a hate-filled development version to me.=20 </div> <div> </div> <div>Yours in hate,</div> <div> </div> <div>Steve Peters</div> ------=_Part_38601_13033592.1131737785910--
From: Steve Peters Date: 16:33 on 09 Nov 2005 Subject: Hating hate ------=_Part_3669_18410680.1131553996927 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Disposition: inline Try http://steve.peters.hates-software.com BROKEN!!! EXACTLY!!! HATE!!!! And I will beat senseless with a trout the first person who mutters "Patches welcome" :) Yours in hate, Steve Peters ------=_Part_3669_18410680.1131553996927 Content-Type: text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Disposition: inline <div>Try <a href=3D"http://steve.peters.hates-software.com">http://steve.pe= ters.hates-software.com</a></div> <div> </div> <div>BROKEN!!! EXACTLY!!! HATE!!!!</div> <div> </div> <div>And I will beat senseless with a trout the first person who mutters &q= uot;Patches welcome" :)</div> <div> </div> <div>Yours in hate,</div> <div> </div> <div>Steve Peters</div> ------=_Part_3669_18410680.1131553996927--
From: Rhesa Rozendaal
Date: 23:24 on 06 Nov 2005
Subject: yum. uck. python. gack.
Clock on the server is off. so I type:
[root@box:~]# yum install ntpd
Setting up Install Process
Setting up repositories
update 100% |=========================| 951 B 00:00
base 100% |=========================| 1.1 kB 00:00
addons 100% |=========================| 951 B 00:00
extras 100% |=========================| 1.1 kB 00:00
Reading repository metadata in from local files
Parsing package install arguments
No Match for argument: ntpd
Nothing to do
Did that have to take you 50 seconds? Sheesh.
Next attempt:
[root@box:~]# yum search ntps
[sound of a slowly dripping faucet]
oh wait, typo, I meant ntpd. Hit ctrl+c.
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/usr/bin/yum", line 4, in ?
import yum
File "__init__.py", line 36, in ?
File "config.py", line 32, in ?
File "/usr/lib/python2.3/site-packages/urlgrabber/__init__.py", line 53, in ?
from grabber import urlgrab, urlopen, urlread
File "/usr/lib/python2.3/site-packages/urlgrabber/grabber.py", line 302, in ?
import urllib2
File "/usr/lib/python2.3/urllib2.py", line 103, in ?
import sha
KeyboardInterrupt
No kidding. Ubuntu wants python everywhere? Gimme a break.
Traceback (most recent call last):
NAAAAH!!!
From: Peter da Silva Date: 00:51 on 06 Nov 2005 Subject: iTunes and Podcasts Hmmm... this podcast mostly sucks, but this one's good. Lemme save that one for later listening, and delete the podcast because it's cluttering up iTunes. (PS: Mail.app... why don't you think "podcast" is a word?) Drag and drop to finder. No dice. OK, "Show File", copy, paste". Delete podcast. Bring the file back. Podcast is back! Change the "album" name, change the genre from "Podcast", copy out, delete podcast, file's gone, quit iTunes... Bring the file back. Podcast is back! Except now it's named "George Bush - Humor". Grovel through the ID3 tags. Change the file name. Nothing helps. Apple's labelled this file as a podcast and nothing will change that.
From: Hakim Cassimally
Date: 21:07 on 05 Nov 2005
Subject: Hippy Operating Systems
Ubuntu: Linux for Human Beings. My arse. They say that noone ever got sa=
cked
for choosing Windows, but even more importantly, they don't get grief from =
their
significant other about how annoying their computer is if its Windows.
"Why do weird things happen when I move around using the touchpad?"
Oh, the synaptic touchpad's not well configured, I kind of mainly know =
how
to move my fingers in the right way, but otherwise it fires a click event w=
hen
I lift my finger, it's badly configured and I don't know how to fix it yet.
"Why can't you call me with Skype?"
Oh, well, on my laptop, I worked out after reading the wiki pages that =
I
just need to kill the Enlightened Sound Daemon for it to work. Oh, and the=
n
switch the mixer settings to enable microphone input, and it works as long =
as
I have the OSS mixer selected and not the ALSA one, though that works bette=
r
for other stuff. The only disadvantage is that I can't have another progra=
m
that makes sound working at the same time, so I can't receive calls when I'=
m
listening to mp3s. And if I've listened to mp3s in the meantime then I jus=
t
need to kill that Sound Daemon again. And though it doesn't work from my P=
C at
work at all, I'm sure I'll get that fixed in the next couple of days.
"Why are you rebooting your computer?" (gf uses a Mac rather than Windows)
Oh, the power ran out, and there's no ACPI event that I can find that t=
ells
it to sleep when it's about to run out of power.
OR ALTERNATIVELY:
Fuck! The fucking thing won't wake up from sleep mode. Usually if I've
closed the lid rather than explicitly sending it to sleep, I only have to p=
ress
Ctrl-F7 to wake up the GUI window (because the script doesn't enable the vi=
deo
terminal like it should do) and everything's ok, but sometimes it doesn't a=
nd
refuses to do anything at all, the bag of shite.
OR SIMILARLY
When I set it to sleep and then unplug it, the battery icon doesn't
realize that
it's no longer connected to the power supply, so it didn't tell me
it's about to die.
If only I'd remembered to 'killall gnome-panel' that would have
restarted it. Silly me!
"Why can't you download pictures from your phone?"
Oh, Nokia doesn't supply a CD to connect to Linux. But there's a commu=
nity
based one called Gammu, only that won't install with Ubuntu because it need=
s
a later version of libbluetooth which clashes with the one that's there, so=
I
think I have to compile it myself, only I'm not sure how.
"Why are you shouting abuse at your laptop when you're supposed to be worki=
ng
from home?"
I can't a) connect to the wireless network in the flat, or b) connect t=
o
the VPN. Despite having done both tons of times before.
"Why can't you use the scanner or your memory card reader?"
I can't find the drivers/get the drivers to work.
"Why do the fonts look so ugly?"
Oh, that's just Linux.
"Why are you using this stupid system then?"
Oh, Windows is completely broken.
For programming, the Unix command line, apt-get/Synaptic, ssh keys, and vir=
tual
desktops make my geek knees wobble, but there's still a way to go to impres=
s me
as a human.
No, telling me Linux used to be more annoying doesn't help.
From: Nicholas Clark Date: 21:18 on 31 Oct 2005 Subject: Preview $ file ~/tmp/Printout /Users/nick/tmp/Printout: PostScript document text conforming at level 2.0 I don't care what its fucking name is. It's postscript. Damn well open it. Don't sit there with your pathetic dialogue box showing it greyed out because it doesn't conform to your numskull blinkered idea of how files should be named. I am the user and I am right dammit. Not Steve fucking Jobs. Nicholas Clark
< mari
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
chi >
[ Page 38 of 76 ]
Generated at 10:28 on 16 Apr 2008 by mariachi